To Chatteris, Fenland hell hole, this morning to collect a parcel from a courier depot. The courier had tried to deliver it last Tuesday when I wasn't here. I rang the depot on Wednesday and asked them to hold on to it until today when I would drive over to collect it. A 30-mile drive on greasy roads in low autumn visibility, plus getting through the rush hour in Huntingdon (it gets quite busy since they allowed horses and carts). Not in a good mood. I find the depot, on some shanty-town trading estate, and go into the office, waving my delivery card.
Eagerly, I address the marsh monkey behind the counter: "I've come for my parcel, may I have it, please?" "Youcan'tboyee," he says. "Tha'sgonebackoutonthevan. I'sezonmypad'eretha'youwazcomin'inbutsomeonepuditonthevananyway." "Well, could you ring the van, please, and tell the driver to leave it on the doorstep, I've already wasted an hour this morning coming over here," etc. "I'ring'imnowboyee."
I stomped off with one of those little thunder clouds over my head and drove snarlingly to St Ives where, happily, the second item I needed to collect, was ready. On the way home, my phone goes: it's a different marsh monkey. "Igotyouparcelbutyoubain'tat'ome." "I know that, I shall be there in 10 minutes. You may leave it on the doorstep if you wish. Hasn't your office been in touch with you?" "Noboyee."
Teeth-grindingly maddening, the whole thing. The parcel, incidentally, contained some plastic boxes to recycle newspapers, cans, bottles. How much diesel has been burnt during its spasticated delivery? Goddamnit!!!!
Now I've got 10 minutes left before I need to go out again. Grrrrrr! The only good thing is that I've found someone who can do a quick job on my car this week. Weight off my mind.
4 comments:
Am I your only reader who has been to Chatteris too? I had to check out a local loony who concealed his mother's body in the house after she died, he suffered shellsock from the war and was in a demented state. Did you come across him? If not, you had a lucky escape.
How come you haven't visited my site for a couple of weeks, btw?
Bloody cheek, I was there yesterday - liked the Rodin thing, but didn't think it appropriate to comment. Been a bit preoccupied also, don't you know :~) and have hardly visited my own site.
Was it DHL by any chance?
It was not DHL. I think no name, no pack drill may be the correct approach with this one, Mac. That marsh monkey looked mean.
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